This piece was originally published in 2015 on Indigo Runner, my former blog. I’m republishing it here because perception is still the thing I come back to most, in running, in relationships, and in the stories I tell myself.
What Is Perception, Really?
The other night, I watched an episode of Brain Games about perception. They displayed images showing how shadowing altered our perception of object color. It made me reflect on how much that applies to the situations in our everyday lives.
How often have we been in a situation and thought, “If only they knew where I was coming from” or “They don’t know a thing about what I went through”?
The Comment That Stayed With Me
This reminded me of my first job after college, when I was in my early twenties. A co-worker told me, “You can probably eat whatever you want and never gain weight.”
Her perception of me was that I was thin and in shape and not currently battling my weight. Little did she know that from age ten to twenty-three, I had huge issues surrounding my weight and eating. I had finally reached a good place where I was eating healthy and not starving myself to be thin or carrying anxiety around food.
She didn’t know. She couldn’t have known. That’s the point.
The Driver Who Cut You Off
Think of the car that cuts you off in traffic. Your first reaction might be anger. You perceive the driver as inconsiderate and rude.
But shift for a moment to the other driver’s perspective. Maybe they didn’t see you. Maybe they had just received a call that their mother was in the ER.
It changes things.
It’s incredible what happens when you pause and think: I don’t know what this person went through, is going through, or is coming from.
How to Shift Your Perception
Think of all the interactions and opportunities you have to change your perception throughout the day. How would that change your reactions?
Try this for seven days: in various situations, consciously choose to see another perspective before reacting. Notice how it leaves you feeling.
A little more peaceful? A little calmer?
That’s not a coincidence. That’s what happens when you stop assuming and start wondering.